home

mom: "honey, stripling warriors do not pinch their mothers' bottoms."

cord: "but they show affection in their own ways."

cord is a keen observer? yes. he has picked up masterful guilt-tripping techniques? yes.
exhibit a:
feeling dejected after trying to hug me while i was washing a dish
cord: "noni that dish will be here forever. i will not."

shaking hands with maxfield
max: "you aren't married? where's your ring?"
me: "that's my right hand. rings go on the left."
max: "let me see your left. (slipping a silver ring off his own finger) which finger was it now? (slipping my hand from his grasp) where's your boyfriend at?"
me: "he's out" (i'm not lying on a sunday. i'm referring to a future boyfriend. he's got to be out doing something..)
"i could never take you home. i live with my in-laws.. and you're white."

chris: "you're less white once you get to know you."
me: "excuse me?"
chris: "you got groove and all."