It's 65 degrees in this office.
Wrong day to shave the legs.
5.6.12
2.3.12
2.3.11
you know it was a good first date when:
instead of a goodnight text, you receive this:
accompanied by "Bravo woman. Bravo."
23.2.11
17.2.11
15.1.11
my favorite little boy
is the one wearing the red striped hoodie, gray pants, and
orange sequined tutu.
orange sequined tutu.
9.12.10
7.12.10
the girl
I have been staring for months is who I thought. Once I got up the guts to ask what her name was. Not Tatevik. Oh, sorry. You look a lot like my friend.
But still every time I see her, my stomach does a turn. Is she sure who she is? Because I’m pretty sure your name is Tatevik, Tatevik from Yerevan nine years ago. You held my hand and walked with me to church. How are you here? How do you not recognize me? You really don’t look any different. We have passed at least a dozen times since I asked your name and you have zero reaction. Am I crazy?
Nope. I’m not. And I’m going to settle this.
Good girl Route Y.
Search: Tate*
Seven results:
Second to last:
Tatevik Yerevan
Provo, UT 84606 Moldovakan 3
Provo, UT 84606 Moldovakan 3
Apt 105
Yerevan
Armenia
Tatevik is in Provo. Tatevik walked into the computer lab three minutes ago and sat two rows in front of me. Tatevik’s sister Sona just walked in to sit next to her.
I must have asked Sona’s name instead of Tate's. And after these months I don’t have the guts to walk over and tell her who she is. Because I will cry.
Lame.
4.8.10
i've been dubbed a crazy magnet
today these people asked me what deodorant was.
their question answered so many of mine.
all i could come up with was,
"lots of people use it."
carrying the implied -- maybe you should too.
their question answered so many of mine.
all i could come up with was,
"lots of people use it."
carrying the implied -- maybe you should too.
10.7.10
so.. maybe i'm going out with schmuck
or did.
twice.
but important things first. really, this is for carolyn.
this morning i poured a small bowl of this,
understandably hesitant. flax cereal could easily go both ways.
one bite.
a more monstrous amount was poured. so darn delicious.
back to unitooth, as he is affectionately referred to around here.
on our first date my mom sent this:
"Hopin you're enjoyin an excitin and interestin evenin doin somethin!"
after our first date he sent this:
"Im just kiddin with the unfortunate stuff :)" (you'd have to meet him, a real joker) "but I'm thinkin it'd be fun, if your down, to do somethin this week?"
really.
i'd expect he would be more likely to add an extra g to the end of words than drop it again.
old dog.
after our second date he sent this, a book of a seven increment long message (only adequate room for excerpts can be afforded):
"sorry about the date last night
dating is interesting like that
im sure youd agree
be friends :)
Most guys wouldnt admit
really liked ya
just met a girl from California
called friends before our date
handle this situation
i wasnt being honest -thats dating i guess
anyways a dumb story for ya:)"
the apology tally reached new heights at 23 that night.
but not all is lost. i was reminded of some very important things like, 6-foot-4 is a proper height, don't snuggle unless you mean it (that one may be perpetually learned and relearned), blind dates are not the most desirable means, inadvertent yawns and dazing into the distance send a definitive body language message, and miserable circumstances now make for valiant stories later.
and now, soldier, i send you off with the same salute i sent dear schmuck:
I appreciate your honesty. Good luck!
twice.
but important things first. really, this is for carolyn.
this morning i poured a small bowl of this,
one bite.
a more monstrous amount was poured. so darn delicious.
back to unitooth, as he is affectionately referred to around here.
on our first date my mom sent this:
"Hopin you're enjoyin an excitin and interestin evenin doin somethin!"
after our first date he sent this:
"Im just kiddin with the unfortunate stuff :)" (you'd have to meet him, a real joker) "but I'm thinkin it'd be fun, if your down, to do somethin this week?"
really.
i'd expect he would be more likely to add an extra g to the end of words than drop it again.
old dog.
after our second date he sent this, a book of a seven increment long message (only adequate room for excerpts can be afforded):
"sorry about the date last night
dating is interesting like that
im sure youd agree
be friends :)
Most guys wouldnt admit
really liked ya
just met a girl from California
called friends before our date
handle this situation
i wasnt being honest -thats dating i guess
anyways a dumb story for ya:)"
the apology tally reached new heights at 23 that night.
but not all is lost. i was reminded of some very important things like, 6-foot-4 is a proper height, don't snuggle unless you mean it (that one may be perpetually learned and relearned), blind dates are not the most desirable means, inadvertent yawns and dazing into the distance send a definitive body language message, and miserable circumstances now make for valiant stories later.
and now, soldier, i send you off with the same salute i sent dear schmuck:
I appreciate your honesty. Good luck!
29.6.10
what a schmuck.
my mom received this text message today:
"Hey this is Chris i talked to Mike and Liz and they talked about doin somethin this thursday. If your down to do somethin just text me"
she responded:
"Dear Chris,
Thank you for your text. However, I am a happily married wife and mother. Might I offer some unsolicited advice ... doing and something both end with the letter g, and I believe that most ladies would prefer a personal invitation rather than a text asking if they are down to do something. I applaud you for dating, and extend my best wishes to you."
then:
"Uh cute advice. Wrong number. I think you misunderstood the context of the situation."
and then:
"Ps if you dont even know mike and liz why would you text me back"
at this point, my mom turned to me and said:
"If this ruins some celestial relationship, I'm going to burn in Hell."
the best part is:
mike and liz are actually my parents' dear friends michael and elizabeth.. that are trying to set me up on blind dates.
"Hey this is Chris i talked to Mike and Liz and they talked about doin somethin this thursday. If your down to do somethin just text me"
she responded:
"Dear Chris,
Thank you for your text. However, I am a happily married wife and mother. Might I offer some unsolicited advice ... doing and something both end with the letter g, and I believe that most ladies would prefer a personal invitation rather than a text asking if they are down to do something. I applaud you for dating, and extend my best wishes to you."
then:
"Uh cute advice. Wrong number. I think you misunderstood the context of the situation."
and then:
"Ps if you dont even know mike and liz why would you text me back"
at this point, my mom turned to me and said:
"If this ruins some celestial relationship, I'm going to burn in Hell."
the best part is:
mike and liz are actually my parents' dear friends michael and elizabeth.. that are trying to set me up on blind dates.
22.6.10
17.6.10
tales of a cool summer
ringing someone up:
me "how are you?"
man "i'm coping by spending.. why lie?"
me "oh."
not sure what to say.. half smile.. now i know why.
"hey, so you've been taking me on dates. and i don't want to be presumptuous. but if you're interested in dating.. i'd really like to be just friends."
how many times have i dined at the chuck-a-rama?
too many happy memories to count.
this time it lived up to its name.
the chuck-a-rama never disappoints.
man traxing his A game:
pyt "well, nice to meet you. this is my stop. i'm getting off."
man "oh, i thought you were gonna Indiana Jones it off here.. with your little whip and stuff."
"i just came in to buy a bikini."
mom "you wouldn't have shone. ...unless he had brought you home and kissed in the car!"
me "oh my word."
mom "i think you're a pretty good kisser!"
me "how would you know that?"
mom "i just think so."
me "how are you?"
man "i'm coping by spending.. why lie?"
me "oh."
not sure what to say.. half smile.. now i know why.
"hey, so you've been taking me on dates. and i don't want to be presumptuous. but if you're interested in dating.. i'd really like to be just friends."
how many times have i dined at the chuck-a-rama?
too many happy memories to count.
this time it lived up to its name.
the chuck-a-rama never disappoints.
this is only one of the towers. we stacked 53 plates.
thank you.
man traxing his A game:
pyt "well, nice to meet you. this is my stop. i'm getting off."
man "oh, i thought you were gonna Indiana Jones it off here.. with your little whip and stuff."
"i just came in to buy a bikini."
what you can't see is this man's extreme urban walking get up.. backpack, ski pole, goggles.
"oh dear
oh dear
hold on
someone's at my door
and i am
not presentable"
mom "you wouldn't have shone. ...unless he had brought you home and kissed in the car!"
me "oh my word."
mom "i think you're a pretty good kisser!"
me "how would you know that?"
mom "i just think so."
i walked into a closet instead of the stair well. apparently i'm not the first.
spoken in a thick french accent:
"whea can i find a nice perfoome..?"
yoo know?
toilET wateh?"
6.6.10
1993
i'm helping cord pack for camp. i told him if he's good, he'll find his 'extra snack money'.
these are my dad's tiny old red scriptures that haven't been used for years. i found love notes from my mom tucked in the pages like this one.
it's sideways, but very cool.
5.6.10
ha
tonight's ward text:
"Today's hike is at 2 pm. Meet at the Garden apartments, bring some water and snacks. We will be hiking Bell Canyon. ALSO- tomorrow is purple sunday. Guys- wear purple ties, girls- purple anything, shoes, accessories, clothing, etc. See you then!"
welcome back to third grade.
tonight cord won extra time before bed by telling my mom,
"i'm just trying to spend a little time with my most favorite sister."
want to know why i'm his most favorite sister?
i received this text earlier today:
"Hey non, mom wants you to get me at least four pairs of underwear"
i brought home six.
"Today's hike is at 2 pm. Meet at the Garden apartments, bring some water and snacks. We will be hiking Bell Canyon. ALSO- tomorrow is purple sunday. Guys- wear purple ties, girls- purple anything, shoes, accessories, clothing, etc. See you then!"
welcome back to third grade.
tonight cord won extra time before bed by telling my mom,
"i'm just trying to spend a little time with my most favorite sister."
want to know why i'm his most favorite sister?
i received this text earlier today:
"Hey non, mom wants you to get me at least four pairs of underwear"
i brought home six.
4.6.10
how about thor's gas bes my slave.
it's not any better. i'm going to PetSmart. for the good of mankind. and the reception guests.
this is also for the good of mankind.
that's right summer.. keep it comin'.. attagirl..
this is also for the good of mankind.
that's right summer.. keep it comin'.. attagirl..
29.5.10
i was going to
share this yesterday. but i ate too many potato chips and got sick and had to retire without even brushing my teeth. so it's here now.
have you ever wondered the proper order of steps to take to operate a laundromat dryer? today is our day!
"1. Check inside machine for children, pets, and foreign objects before loading and starting."
phew. i'm really glad that's straightened out.
have you ever wondered the proper order of steps to take to operate a laundromat dryer? today is our day!
phew. i'm really glad that's straightened out.
27.5.10
what i owe to modeling
no, not killer wages or stunning artwork.
robes.
i love nothing more than getting ready for bed in a robe.
thor loves it too. he finally has deserving company. dinner jacket wearing fellow is well-matched by a robed lady.
need proof? fine.
speaking of fellows, foreign fellows love me. i really should move.
they come in with their accents. they request my fashion advice.
they ask, "Does this fit?"
i turn them with a twirl of my index. "Yes," i reply.
they turn back around, "No. Does I look good?"
i give them the twice over, "Yes, your tush looks very nice."
three times today i tells you. three times. that's better than an entire year in provo.
forget BYU. transfer to the G A P for your MRS degree.
(or the equivalent frau/sra/mme)
robes.
i love nothing more than getting ready for bed in a robe.
thor loves it too. he finally has deserving company. dinner jacket wearing fellow is well-matched by a robed lady.
need proof? fine.
speaking of fellows, foreign fellows love me. i really should move.
they come in with their accents. they request my fashion advice.
they ask, "Does this fit?"
i turn them with a twirl of my index. "Yes," i reply.
they turn back around, "No. Does I look good?"
i give them the twice over, "Yes, your tush looks very nice."
three times today i tells you. three times. that's better than an entire year in provo.
forget BYU. transfer to the G A P for your MRS degree.
(or the equivalent frau/sra/mme)
24.5.10
i call
8:20 am, today, upstairs bathroom, brushing teeth
me: "What time does school start?"
cord: "Mom says I'm sick. I'm only going to second period."
"How are you sick?"
"I don't know."
this is what i like to call, "PARTY AT HOME!"
8 pm, saturday, sugarhouse park, strolling with the pobre pupi
a black man in his mid 40's driving a white cadillac with the windows down passes blasting a Boyz II Men-esque, "I'll Be There"
second lap: "Ain't nothin' Wrong with a Little Bump and Grind"
this is what i like to call, "old-fashioned booty-call."
me: "What time does school start?"
cord: "Mom says I'm sick. I'm only going to second period."
"How are you sick?"
"I don't know."
this is what i like to call, "PARTY AT HOME!"
8 pm, saturday, sugarhouse park, strolling with the pobre pupi
a black man in his mid 40's driving a white cadillac with the windows down passes blasting a Boyz II Men-esque, "I'll Be There"
second lap: "Ain't nothin' Wrong with a Little Bump and Grind"
this is what i like to call, "old-fashioned booty-call."
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