so.. maybe i'm going out with schmuck

or did.
twice.


but important things first. really, this is for carolyn.
this morning i poured a small bowl of this,

understandably hesitant. flax cereal could easily go both ways.
one bite.
a more monstrous amount was poured. so darn delicious.


back to unitooth, as he is affectionately referred to around here.
on our first date my mom sent this:
"Hopin you're enjoyin an excitin and interestin evenin doin somethin!"


after our first date he sent this:
"Im just kiddin with the unfortunate stuff :)" (you'd have to meet him, a real joker) "but I'm thinkin it'd be fun, if your down, to do somethin this week?"


really.
i'd expect he would be more likely to add an extra g to the end of words than drop it again.
old dog.


after our second date he sent this, a book of a seven increment long message (only adequate room for excerpts can be afforded):


"sorry about the date last night
dating is interesting like that
im sure youd agree 
be friends :)
Most guys wouldnt admit
really liked ya 
just met a girl from California
called friends before our date
handle this situation
i wasnt being honest -thats dating i guess
anyways a dumb story for ya:)"


the apology tally reached new heights at 23 that night.
but not all is lost. i was reminded of some very important things like, 6-foot-4 is a proper height, don't snuggle unless you mean it (that one may be perpetually learned and relearned), blind dates are not the most desirable means, inadvertent yawns and dazing into the distance send a definitive body language message, and miserable circumstances now make for valiant stories later.


and now, soldier, i send you off with the same salute i sent dear schmuck: 
I appreciate your honesty. Good luck!