Ruth

we worked with cadavers for the first time today. it's been decided to use the people's actual names this semester.
i don't know how i feel about it yet.
sometimes, i feel removed. i'm zeroed-in on parts--it feels like i'm studying strata in rocks.
other times, it's so real.
especially when i look at their fingers. they have fingernails. these are the hands that did everything. these are the hands they dressed with, ate with, shook with, punched with, played with, loved with. these hands held their lover's hands.
someone misses this hand.
how can i dig through muscles when someone would do anything to hold this hand, kiss it, stroke it, hold it to their face?

I opened the window..

I was sent home from school today. Well, first I was sent to see Ron who sent me to turn in my assignments and then home.

You don't look so good.

Yeah..

(palm spreading toward me creating distance and shielding the cougar health snob from germs)

You sound even worse. Go to Ron. (and get the h away from me)

Flashback to elementary school, right? I just needed a hall pass.

I'm contemplating wearing a mask. I watched a special on influenza last night. They wore masks. Masks don't actually stop microbes, but I will look socially conscious and responsible.

Let's do reader interaction. That sounds exciting. Describe the last time you smurfed? No... were sent home from school - not necessarily due to illness.

Adam

offered me his cold medicine. I went into the boys' house when no one was home. It was kind of exciting. I also retrieved my missing aloe tissues - equally exciting.

No, I did not snoop. Although, I've heard Chris has a secret barbie stash. That's perplexing.

i excel in eating.

this includes most foods, but especially candy. the crazy core variety of skittles to be precise.

thank you adam for putting your favorite jeans on the line to get my fix the other day.

the bag lasted only seconds.

it was necessary.

anyway, i've been thinking.

i should be in a skittles eating contest.

why are we confined to hot-dogs, hamburgers and pies?

they always say to do what you love. and make a living out of it.

maybe i'll get sponsored. tour the great nation's fairs in my very own skittles-provided fatty-van.

go eat an apple or something.

it's here

i thought i wasn't ready for glinting christmas trees, nat king cole, snow flurries, steaming hot peppermint chocolate and cozy snuggles.

(not that it's season exclusive.. but seriously there's nothing better than a christmas spoon. right?)

and yesterday i wasn't.

we still have thanksgiving to look forward to for stuffings sakes!!

but here comes gap magic:

the boxes in the front window never stop twirling,

the sultry christmas songs are interspersed just right,

and i left a christmas-awaiting girl at the beginning of november.

bring on the holidays. i am ready.

actually, i can't wait.

tomorrow,

i have a date. sort of.

he said it would be "for ten minutes only,"

to talk and see that he's "not a weird man."

here's to you edgar,

may you be a man of your word.

may you wear stilted insoles.

may you buy me two scoops.

for general information we are meeting at the creamery at 7.

you know..

just in case.

i was feeling spicy and latin last night

"you were like fred astaire and ginger robbers............................... rogers."

"your spoon is contaminated now."

"..it's okay. i cleaned it with my tongue."

"Noni

s'okay

he probably knows you well enough to know that you're a)touchy and b)passionate

and if not, he certainly found out....

but really"

"i like your shoes."

"i like yours too."

dating is hard.

i like

babies.

"Buses

are like boys. Another one comes every ten minutes"

I wish this were really my philosophy.

Also

What's up with Olivia Wilde now on.. HOUSE?!

How long has this betrayal been going on? I must be lost since season.. did we stop on four?

A diagnostic mystery doctor? Come on.

Also what kind of a name is, "Thirteen?" Lame.

She'll always be a troubled teen to me.

good hellen

i don't know what else to say.

why aren't big nike sneakers socially acceptable daily wear anymore? how do i loathe them and yearn for them at the same time?

maybe crocs are the compromise.. heh. probably not.

maybe leopard crocs.

maybe.

shout out to ethan and cami's engagement. that's hot. think of the children.

hi-de-ho

"I'm going to go get in my pj's."

"Oh me too. And i have some bodily functions to take care of. (pause) So come over in fifteen to twenty minutes."

"Really...? Fifteen to twenty minutes?"

"I like to read, okay?!"

my dear roommate excitedly telling me about doing her first urinary catheter:

"It's so hard! It's like sticking three bananas through your eyeball. You don't think it will fit, but it's possible!"

last night

i was a man. i was a man in trouble. a fugitive actually.

i escaped arrest by kicking some serious trash, skittering up the most intense gym rope, flying trapeze style to be beyond reach, sonic the hedgehogging it out of the surrounded warehouse and convincing some respectable citizens i was just a normal guy in need of a restroom. all of their sinks were filled with soil and corn seeds. i couldn't properly wash the soap off my hands.

and then as the authorities were knocking on the door i woke up to too much mucus leaking down my throat. so gross.

yesterday

my urine smelled like hot pocket.

good sign?

also i feel oinky. i wish it were in the sexy miss piggy kind of way.

"crap.

he's got the spock eyebrows."

nikolais is freaky

and so cool.

byu's music was way better. and i dislike the cinematography. but. when i go to heaven i will be in carl flink's company.

really?

who invented 7am class?

oh YOU did?

stand up please.

turn around.

yes.

now bend over.

*WHABAM!*

you deserved it.

uhh yeah

my shampoo and conditioner ran out on the very same day. i keep thinking about it. has that EVER happened before? it definitely hasn't happened in my presence. it's kind of incredible. the levels can appear to be going down comparably. but there is always a huge discrepancy between the last dribbles out of one and the last dribbles out of the other. nope. last possible hair wash and condition not only on the same day -- the very same shower. incredible.

i love my grampa!

'no one's getting married these days. except for the homosexuals.'

i really do love him.

these are my relations

i look from my cousin to my grampa and back to cousin.

she has rice stuck to her arm and he has beans splashed twice on his shirt.

pay attention. stop staring.

we go to get milk shakes. she pulls the door open. yep. rice still stuck. glance at grampa. 'grampa i'll wash your shirt for you. i'll even iron it.' 'what's the matter with my shirt? oh, nothing ice won't fix!' (to milk shake boy) 'i'd like a piece of ice please.' 'anything else?!'

scrubs rapidly at spots. sheesh. look at cousin. she flashes her biggest cheese. major cilantro in-between her teeth. i can't take this. 'grampa, please promise me you won't wear that shirt again. it's too hot for long sleeves anyway.' 'look. tell me where i spilled. you can't even see it.' 'there and there.' scrubs again.

these are my relations. i adore them.

over malts and shakes grampa tells us about his cousin who was on broadway who drank herself to death and the husband who wrote hit songs preceded her in the same fashion. this woman's child went on to marry a religious man who frequently knew women in the congregation resulting in frequent relocations. their children were scarred-- one changing sex and name, now, Ginger (pronounced gingah) and the other drugged himself down. broadway's sister married a crazy that wanted to live out in the nowhere and have animals and farm. they moved right next to an indian reservation. two of their children grew up to marry neighbor indians who tried to take out the family members and are now in prison.

i thought grampa was an only child and orphaned.

he concluded by saying,

'and those are your relations.

this is why you have a moral compass and don't drink do drugs or marry indians, even though i am a quite handsome one-eighth cherokee.'

that makes me one-thirty-second??

on a different note, today at work i felt a sneeze coming on. so naturally i ducked. naturally. and when i sneezed my head shot up and hit the corner of the counter.

all i could think about after was that actress who crashed skiing suffering head trauma, didn't seek help cause she felt fine, and then died.

i love you all.

when?

log: left ring finger smashed in swinging door, malicious paper cut right pinkie, and another one i can't remember.

i had something to write here too. dang my memory's shot.